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Apparently Ape-Man Teman was well known, and feared, in Purdyville.
They described him as a giant, hairy beast that spends most of his time shambling through the forest around Purdyville. They said he was an unpredictable and unstable animal, a creature they keep appeased with regular offerings of spaghetti and tomato sauce (with large chunks of ground meat and lots of basil and oregano). When I suggested that they take me out to meet this apeish Teman they refused with fear and much gesticulation.
Now terrified, but unable to turn back, I bribed several of the natives with Twinkies--the foundation and poison of modern society. I now wanted the natives for more than simple guides; I wanted what protection they could offer, and the chance that the Ape-Man would devour them first, if he attacked, allowing me to escape.
Once the natives had ingested enough twinkies to no longer be in control of their reasoning faculties, we set off. I followed behind, nervously clutching my sidearm, and wondering what my last words would be. The natives led, but for all their sugar delirium they still seemed to posses enough common sense to be a little uneasy.
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